Going Over the Top

Street team Sunday 02/12/12

2012-02-11T16:52:00.002-06:00

Joe A., Going Over the Top's Palestinian corespondent, sends in a shot of "Anil Tea." He notes, "it tastes like shit."

Don't ask why, but I was in Kohls and saw this business casual mannequin.

My shoulders are cold, my box is not.

A loyal reader spotted this flyer for all male twister night at numbers night club.

I received this email from Clearview Research soliciting 3-4 year olds to participate in government research on lighters.

This is real

Thanks to the New York Times and journalist Bob Morris for this headline:

Ya she is...

Hipster Bike Trailer Build

2012-01-30T20:15:00.000-06:00

So I decided I needed/wanted a "cargo" trailer to tow behind my bike. After a quick perusal of retail prices I decided I would need to build my own. With the help of a good friend, Al, I was able to modify an older child carrying bike trailer into a cargo trailer for my needs.

All of this was done for $50 and used 100% recycled/ re-used parts and pieces.

The pictures are in order or progress from start to finish. Make sure to scroll to the bottom for a walk around video of the finished product. In addition there is a great video half way down of Al cutting the closet shelving material to size.

Here is the chariot that will pull the trailer:

The bike setup with the Craig's List Child trailer. This is before the breakdown.

Some of the spare parts as we stripped it down. The child carrier canvas and the wheels are off. Also my Ortlieb Panniers are nearby. Ignore those.

Here is the original trailer sans wheels. Some canvas still remains:

The old trailer standing on end as we continue to dismantle it:

Another look at the old trailer on end during the break down process.

Canvass is gone, down to some aluminum tubing.

Out of this square will emerge an indestructible cargo trailer.

The old wheels were in great condition, thank you Craig's List seller. We put the old wheels back on the original tubing after stripping it all down.

A rear shot of the naked trailer for the ass men out there.

And yet another view of our unmolded piece of clay.

Here we began to brainstorm about using old wire closet shelving. We have dry fit a piece just to see what we have to work with.

Throwing some more shelving in, on and around the trailer to get ideas.

We were able to manufacture our own brackets with some left over garage door opener material. Don't throw that stuff away folks.

Here we have cut one side of our box to length and we have just placed it in the trailer for fitting purposes.

Some of the extra shelving material we had to work with.

A close up shot of our homemade brackets and rivets. The rivets went through our brackets and into the original trailer's aluminum tubing.

Here is a close in shot of the original hitch. We were able to reuse this in its original condition. Thank you again Craig's List. Also notice Al used a zip tie to secure the hitch arm to a saw horse while the body of the trailer sat on a work bench. This allowed us to work on the trailer as it sat on its wheels and did not allow the trailer to roll around.

We can start to see the box of the cargo trailer taking shape.

Another shot as the sides of the box are affixed to the frame.

A close in shot of the corners of the internal frame being marked for drill holes. These will eventually be sandwiched on top and bottom with the homemade brackets and secured with rivets.

Here is a shot looking the length of the trailer. You can see a homemade bracket and rivet in the foreground of the picture.

3 sides are in. You can see the closet shelving creates a natural shelf around the perimeter to hold our floor. Floor is coming ....

A front shot with 3 sides in.

A shot in the distance. At this point we still had the sides of our internal frame in and we were beginning to work on the bottom.

The closet shelving did not come made for a bike trailer. Check out the video below to see Al using his Dewalt grinder to cut the shelving to size.

COOL VIDEO BELOW:

Here is a shot with all four sides in place. You can see a piece laying under the trailer that will serve as a cross beam to support the floor.

A close up shot of the home made brackets in place in the corner.

Here is a shot of the aforementioned cross piece to support our floor.

Here you can see the floor beginning to take shape. We did not have one piece of shelving wide enough. You can see a gap to the left of the picture. We were able to nicley overlap/ overlay two pieces for a smooth floor.

Here is a shot of the two pieces of flooring overlapping.

Another shot of a corner bracket. Man I really love these home made brackets. Also you can see a zip tie hanging down. Since the floor itself was not structural we held it in place with zip ties. The sides and the original frame will hold and distribute the weight of the cargo. These zip ties are snipped off for the finished product.

Here is a side shot of the finished product. Note we made an optional floor of Masonite. This can be put in in the event I am carrying something that will fall through the cracks of the shelving material.

Another side shot of the finished product.

A rear shot of the finished product. The reflectors were off the original trailer.

Here are some of the tools of the trade. We have various wrenches and some red handled snips.

Another shot of some of the tools we used. Sawzall, Dewalt drill, hammer, ruler, rivet tool and box of rivets.

Finally we have a complete "walkaround" video of the finished trailer attached to the bike.

1/29/12 Street Team Sunday

2012-01-28T17:56:00.000-06:00

A+ effort this week by readers. Let's get it started with a contribution from Marge, the official manicurist of Going Over the Top.

What is trashier, buying your kid a race car bed, or putting that race car bed on your roof???

Johnny - go to your room!

Chuck Norris, like Going Over the Top never gets old...

A reader submits this anonymous email. Seems like legit English and a legit link. I'd click through...

Recently went to see Hairbanger's Ball. Saw this guy in the "audience." His look screams "I was a roadie in 1986."

Yeah baby...

Little man Reid send this in from Texas. Look carefully at the bumper, is it "Go Tit Maid LLC?"

Go Tit Maid LLC reminds me of Sean Connery on Jeopardy:

Not to be outdone, I spotted a "Sol Pol Painting" company car in Niles, IL. Not surprisingly, they have no website.

Facebook, good for something:

That pole will need a shower

Street Team Sunday 1/22/12

2012-01-21T12:54:00.000-06:00

This week was basically all me...

Mariano's in Arlington Heights, IL has an endless supply of sophomoric humor on its food items.

Reid has a girlfriend with that nickname

Next we have a great story out of Ft. Wayne, IN. A truck the was carrying 180 barrels of confiscated meth lab materials rolled over on I-69 and shut down traffic for hours. Note to guy who picks up meth material from police - take your time.

Of course it happened on I-69.

Whoops

Wasn't this a Jackass skit????

Chemical Spill - MyVideo

1/15/12 Street Team Sunday

2012-01-14T12:58:00.000-06:00

Top 9 niece Annie starts us off with an ad from a Japanese department store. I could work in advertising in Japan:

Its a real big deal

Keeping with the f word theme, Annie also sends in this tshirt:

Do they see something I don't???

Damn look at the robe on that...

An unnamed contributor sends in this wrestling mullet from a tournament.

In the south of course

Same tournament, one more....

Joe A., Palestinian contributor, sends in the modified Ford Contour

ya girl, it's mine

Seen in a cab in Vegas...hard core there.

Street Team Sunday 1/8/12

2012-01-07T18:17:00.001-06:00

I want to start this week off with a shoutout to "shit single girls say." This reminds me of every chunky daddy's girl in college sucking on fro yo.

Next, top 10 niece, Laura sends in these questions from a job application at Outback Steakhouse. It is no wonder their service is top notch.

I caught this shot of some sort of Biodome or Hubble Telescope atop a single family house near Olympia Park in Chicago. Any information on this would be greatly appreciated.

Fancy steakhouses often have the sport's sections in glass cases over urinals. Alexanders in Elgin, IL has the sports section hanging on a laundry line.

Did you know Ana Gasteyer has a second identity? She is also Judge Patty Shwartz, President Obama's appointment to the United States Court of Appeals for the Third Circuit.

Joe A, the only Palestinian on Street Team 6 sends in this shot, spray painted on a wall in Chicago.

New Year's Street Team Sunday

2011-12-31T21:19:00.000-06:00

Going Over the Top has been cultivating an informant within the Chicago Police. Our top secret informant has come through with this "emergency" call from an employee of Corner Bakery:

Analyzed?

Paul, junior Street Team member, sends in the Bill Clinton corkscrew wine opener.

Little man Reid sends in some sneaker balls.

Yes anything with balls is funny

Little man Reid also sends in this scooter from Austin, TX Craig's List. He notes: "your corroborator needs to be cleaned."

Christmas Street Team

2011-12-23T12:31:00.000-06:00

Happy Festivus to the rest of us. A few holiday shots ot start us off.

Joe A, as always coming through:

I spotted Clark Griswold in Park Ridge:

"I said put the lights on the house!"

Big sister to the blog, Margie, shares this Xmas Card. Note: "Thank you for my success."

Class

Humphry Slocombe has this witty sign posted last week:

Humphry Slocombe of course is not to be confused with ex Cub's pitcher, Heathcliff Slocumb.

Little man Reid sends in another Austin, TX Craig's List gem. I'd be willing to talk to the guy, if there is proof of slaves cutting this limestone.

Marlene, another big sister to the blog, submits a no pooping sign from somewhere in California.

Street Team Sunday 12/18/11

2011-12-13T16:34:00.000-06:00

Like Brutus let's get to this. Joe A sends in a solid youtube video of a 4 year old moving it like Bernie:

Big sister to the blog, Margaret sends in this gem from Skokie. Congratulations to the Skokie Public Works Department for their 1st place finish in the American Public Works Association (APWA to you) 2011 snowplow "roadeo."

They have been training

For the other two people out there who use yahoo email, have you ever noticed that Yahoo's "sample" login is "free2rhyme@yahoo.com?" No wonder I get no respect for using Yahoo Email.

Golden Nuts, seen in Mexico. Always funny-

This man slaves for his music, like the Soup Nazi slaves for his soup. Also spotted in Mexico....

at this little store-

Check out Univeristy of Louisiana Lafayette strength coach Randy Whitt during last night New Orleans Bowl.

1) Rocking sun glasses in a dome.

2) Bleeding from his head and not caring.

Shit my Reid texts Thanksgiving style

2011-12-07T12:29:00.001-06:00

Some background: these were sent the day Notre Dame played Stanford. Thus all the ND/ Green and Gold references. For previous episodes of "shit my Reid texts" click here, here or here.

Enjoy:

10:07 am

Michigan State -5.5

2:18 pm

Hope u made some money, lumpty chumpty.

2:43 pm

Went to skokie cleaners and picked up "Rocket" jersey, extra starch (check). Heading to skokie high gym for ultimate warrior leg blast (check). Having soupy chicken squirts (check). False hope pre 7 pm cst (check). Crushed by life post 7 pm cst (check).

3:11 pm

Know Your Roll Boulevard and Jabroni Avenue used to be a fictional place of lore back in July of 2000; Something to be snickered about when taking a break from kicking ass and taking names......Fast forward to 2011, Know Your Roll Boulevard and Jabroni Avenue is the site of an empty lot, the hotel has been razed. Hope has left town and now resides shame and despair under the guise of Green and Gold.

3:21 pm

Skokie Bike Lane Thoughts:
Jules made snide remark about me sailing into middle of Mexican drug war earlier today; HaHaHa.......Forgot to laugh. You'd think singlehandedly extracting a Mitsubishi 65 inch 1080i rear projection TV that weighs approximately 275 lbs from the loft of her Lake View mansion for free would have bought me a few days, but, alas.....a resounding "No"

4:41 pm

Decided today was the day I was going to make a monumental shift in the exponential wake of the "Mersch Quake". Got up 7am and packed supplies. Headed to Jackson and LaSalle to throw some "round-housers" in that cracked shit bell of liberty.( I know it's in Philly!!) Was confronted by granola eater, who smelled of sesame oil, raw. Told I was too "imposing", "brooding", and given a Danzig flier. WTF?!!! Told them I had a plan and could help. They let me stay. I opened up my can of Tuna, received a restraining order and was escorted from the Federal Reserve for the third time in the last 8 years. Dual citizenship, I got that going for me, which is "Nice". Gunga, Gulunga.

Personal thought: anyone think Glenn Danzig looks like Bret the Hitman Hart?

Street Team Sunday 11/27/11

2011-11-23T17:47:00.001-06:00

Greetings and Happy Street Team Sunday:

Niece Jenny checks in with her first contribution. I may consider adding her back into the will. Solid business card from Hawaii. I only pick surf guides with a lot of experiance.

Joe A checks in with a shop offering an electronic control "analizer."

I saw an analizer in Vegas once

Thanks to me for the find of the year. This billboard was on the side of Command Trucking in Skokie. This was put up the morning of Da Bears victory over the Chargers.

Not sure why this is funny, but it is. Thanks to Marianos in Arlington Heights:

Dude have you heard that new Offspring CD?

Fail

Lastly, Joe A. points out that Jose Benitez, the mayor of Huarmey in Peru, is afraid the drinking water will turn its citizens gay.

Excerpts from the article at Huffington Post:

As Pink News is reporting, Huarmey Mayor Jose Benitez made the bizarre comments at the launch of a local water access project, where he noted high levels of strontium in the tap water. The drinking water comes from Tabalosos, a town which a Lima-based television station once claimed was inhabitedby 14,000 gay men.

“Unfortunately strontium reduces male hormones and suddenly we’ll be as Tabalosos, as other towns, where the percentages are increasing of homosexuality,” Benitez is quoted by LGBT Asylum News as saying. “Young people have low self-esteem by this stigma."

This week in Craig's List

2011-11-20T07:24:00.001-06:00

Car with 595,000 miles, no pictures. Must be a beauty:

Little man Reid sends in this pro street truck ad from Austin Craig's List. He reports that he was on the fence about buying it, until he saw the girls....

Models provided by itty bitty titty white trash models inc.

For more truck pics click here.

Street Team Sunday 11/20/11

2011-11-20T07:00:00.001-06:00

Slow week ... then again all my readers are slow, so not a surprise.

We will start off with San Francisco's version of casual Tuesday.

Wish I had half his confidence

Street Team 6 member, Henny, spotted this bumper sticker in a Jewel parking lot.

Oldie, but a goodie

I spotted a winner at Trader Joes. I don't even know what to say...

Sensible haircut

Sensible shoes

Sensible tights

And lastly, only in Niles would I spot the VW shocker car. I can only imagine what Eurotrash, fauxhawk, duechebag drives this.

Um, no on the 6 CD changer, but ya gimme the shocker paint job

Street Team Sunday 11/13/11

2011-11-14T17:41:00.001-06:00

I'd like too thank all the Veteran's who support this blog.

Let's start off with a subliminal message from Lululemon:

I'd like to see that shirt in white:

Hmm, can I see that one in black:

Nuovo Marge sends in the new workout of her husband Dan, the "Tug Toner:"

Next we have some interesting photography of the the beautiful side of Chicago.

I spotted this mattress in an alley on the 700 block of Wellington in the Lincoln Park neighboroohd of Chicago. For those not familiar, it is quite an expensive are to live in.

Take a closer look, someone had a good time in this alley.

Mattress: check

Blankets: check

40 ounce of King Cobra: check (left side of pic on ground by railing)

3 rat traps: check

Where can you find those nasty old paper towel dispensers? The ones that just circle the same clothe towel over and over as opposed to giving out new paper towels? Only in Ohio. Whoever invented these must have thought: "people will be tricked into think the towel is being cleaned as it goes in a circle through a plastic box."

What's creepier than the "Cheer Wagon?" Answer: taking a picture of it. Spotted in Bartlett, IL.

I spotted this architectural wonder near the Hueston Woods State Park, outside of Oxford, OH. This is a single family house, not a duplex. Which is the front door? Which is the back door? Which is the ....third door?

Occupy Wall Street

2011-11-08T20:51:00.000-06:00

Please check out my friends Occupy Wall Street website. It takes a good look at the good and bad cops of the Occupy Wall Street protests:

http://www.wallstreetcops.com/

I wonder what baby cop would think about the Occupy Wall Street movement....

Good Cop, Baby Cop from Will Ferrell

Street Team Sunday 11/6/11...delayed

2011-11-08T14:22:00.001-06:00

My readers seem to have a sense of entitlement. Street Team Sunday will come when I send it.

Little man Reid checks in with a gem from Austin, TX Craig's List. Wonder what non premium hardwood balls go for....

Firm

I took this picture of some sort of frisbee memorial nailed to a telephone pole. It reminds me of the painted bicycles that mark the death of a biker in Chicago. Maybe some ultimate player reached his end at this intersection???? In any event pour one out for "Diskiedoo."

This shot was snapped at the Morton Grove public library. Interesting choice of words for the "M" - "Y" shelf.

should name a "move" the motorboat yoga

My long lost niece Laura sends in this socialite dressed up with nowhere to go at the University of Iowa.

are you in a sorority?

Last but not least, MG Jules sends in this shot from the Metra Union Pacific Northwest line in Chicago. Not quite sure...but something that looks like hair died on top of this guy's real hair.

slight Ned Flanders thing going on

Street Team Halloween

2011-10-30T09:08:00.000-05:00

The Street Team is sleeping again this week. Good thing Peggy aka MPeggy aka Margaret came through....

She sends us this shot of the Honky Tonk Man at the Dupage County Fair Haunted Flea Market. You read that right, haunted flea market.

Have another beer...

Oh Honky Tonk, it is a long way from defeating Jake the Snake Roberts with Alice Cooper in his corner during Wrestlemani III at the Pontiac Silverdome in front of 93,173 fans (largest live indoor event until the 2010 NBA all star game) to the Dupage County Fairgrounds Haunted Flea market...

Henny sends yet another photo from Binnys (parking lot). It is disturbing that Binnys provides so much Going Over the Top fodder. Even more disturbing is that Henny is always at Binnys to capture it.

Out with the trash?

I spotted a rare CTA mullet near the #9 bus stop on Ashland and Courtland.

Such a confident stride

The following two shots come from the USC vs. Notre Dame football "game" on October 22nd. First we have green guy.

Let's party...right now

Lone USC loser...

"um guys you said we'd all meet in the spandex outfits at noon, where are you?"

Keith Stone at Happy Foods deli counter...

So smooth

Back to back weeks with inappropriate LinkedIn updates...

Why would your belly button (or your boat) need jelly? Are there sex moves I am not aware of?

"ew don't put it in there!"

Lastly, Joe A sends us this update on a man named Mister PeePee who is attempting to masturbate in the bathroom of every Starbucks in New York City. Check out the Huffington Post article here and follow Mister PeePee on Twitter.

Article highlights:

"I've got to rate the bathroom on cleanliness," Mister PeePee said on The Glory Hole podcast, "and [note] if a person knocked on the door and interrupted me."

One of his associates wanted Mister PeePee to also rate "how hot the chicks were in the location -- customers and baristas" and "how frequently did someone try to open the door when you were trying to jerk off."

"And lastly, how was the coffee?" added the podcast co-host.

Violated

Street Team Sunday 10/23/11

2011-10-23T09:55:00.001-05:00

First I would like to send this message to Gaddafi and other terrorists:

By the way, is it odd that the French and NATO can oust a dictator with no troops on the ground? Weird idea...

Little man Reid sends us this shot of Phil Long Toyota in Trinidad, CO. Insert your own "that's what she said" and/or penis joke.

Matty J checks in from Oregon with a shot of Big Beaver Brewing in Loveland, CO. It is not as cool a name as "He-brew," but pretty cool nonetheless.

File this under improper LinkedIn updates....

During the Bears Vikings game last week I spotted Nicki Minaj working as a beer vendor.

Street Team 6 member, Henny sends us this nerd. Some dork has transformed himself into a Superman lookalike (minus the guns) via plastic surgery. Thanks to the Syndey Morning Herald in Australia for exposing this pud.

Resident Palestinian Street Teamer, Joe A, sends in this shot of Uncle Nephew's Clip Joint. I am unclear if this is a bar or a barbershop or neither. As you can tell from the building, they have no website:

Henny (not Youngman) also sends in this left over chicken dinner from the "El." Must have been left by a Going Over the Top Street Teamer who was eating on the go. I love the dedication to his/her craft.

Razor Ramone update

2011-10-20T19:41:00.000-05:00

Much has been circulating on the web today about the ESPN story on Scott Hall. He seems like a lock for the next dead ex-wrestler. Here is the clip:

I am not worried about him as a person, but I am worried about who will be in between the pipes for the Canucks this year?!?!?!

Toooo Sweeet

Street Team Sunday 10/16/11

2011-10-16T15:16:00.000-05:00

Joe A. sends in a shot of JJ Bonerz in Savannah, Georigia.

Do they serve Boner.....

Little man Reid sends in two contributions this week. First he sends us this picture of a frosty. He notes: "nothing like a smooth boner going down your throat at the end of a hard day."

A hard day calls for a hard boner?

Next Reid tells us that his dad started an organic food company and named it after him:

Rarely do member of the Street Team blog about one another. However this week Mike H sends in a video of Joe A (resident Palestinian Street Teamer) working out. Joe knows it is not the sixe of your arms but the motion in the ocean that matters:

(btw nice belt Joe)

Next MG Jules sends in this off center handicap parking job. As far as I am aware the yellow stripes are there to give the handicap parkers more room to exit their vehicles. Doesn't it defeat the purpose to park on those yellow stripes???

It reminds me of the Dennis Leary song "I'm an Asshole." Best line of the song: "Sometimes I park in handicap spaces while handicap people make handicap faces..."

"no, no more to the right...perfect."

10/09/11 Street Team Sunday

2011-10-09T12:03:00.001-05:00

Dear Street Team drones:

This week was a weak effort on your part. Thus today's Street Team Sunday will be made up of only my contributions.

First: What do you do when a Tony Soprano look a like asks you to sing "Ave Maria" in memory of his recently deceased grandmother? Answer: You sing your ass off. Friend of Going Over the Top, Collette, lights up karaoke.

A couple of notes:

1) This indeed took place at a Karaoke event.
2) Notice how pissed the guy is at the train honking.
3) I had to cut off the video when someone sat about 4 inches from my camera.
4) Notice Elvira the Karaoke mistress in background.
5) He did indeed cry.

Second: Sign spotted on a condominium bulletin board garage in Des Plaines, IL.

1) Capitalization: random small case letters. Also note a capital "R" in "Prety" but a small "r" in "very."
2) "Prety"

Blog readers feel free to call and point out the grammatical errors.

The only thing better than prety is very prety.

Third: Dear single middle aged women, the way not to meet men is to decorate your rear windshield with dog and/or cat trinkets.

Fourth: I spotted this giant "always wear safety glasses" sign on the back of a truck outside Jackson, MI. Wear them when driving? When following? Just in general?

Street Team Sunday October 2

2011-10-02T07:14:00.000-05:00

Good week this week, a lot of variance. I like it. Keep it coming.

Ever wonder where to take a deer with a meth problem? Thanks to Ryan V., I do. I will go to "Deer Rehabilitation Services, Inc."

Little man Reid sends us this shot along with the kind words: "don't let anyone tell you your name can hold you back...Raper didn't." I present Raper RV, America's #1 dealer.

Reid also sends us this highly coveted Texas license plate, "turd tunnel?"

He must know someone

Part time contributor Paul R sends us this newspaper clipping from the Eastern Echo, a student newspaper at Eastern Michigan University. Those funny college kids.

motion in the ocean

Everyone's favorite tattooed cop, Dan, sends us this shot from Chicago. It is this attention to detail that gets someone hired to work for the city.

Street team 6 member, Henny, sends in two contributions. First from the Fifty/50 in Chicago, comes this bathroom "no-no." (Funny both parties are smiling).

Social media and texting have really killed the creativeness of our youth. Binnys now sells beer pong "kits." How lazy can these kids be.?

An anonymous employee of Crate & Barrel sends us this shot of the complimentary feminine products available in the employee bathroom. Do Maxithins taste like Wheatthins?

so organized

Going Over the Top Analysis

2011-09-29T16:22:00.000-05:00

Where do all my loyal readers come from? I like to check my blog stats to see where I am getting hits from. How else will I know that someone in Yemen Googled "nice pubes picture" and ended up on my blog?

Below is Going Over Top's Google search word analysis. You will see a search term and a number. This is where Going Over the Top falls on the list of Google results if you type in this search term. I encourage you to Google these terms yourself and see where this pathetic blog falls in Google's elaborate search algorithms.

In the below screen shot you can see that my blog ranks number one for "Netflix movies for guys who like movies." Also of note some viewers landed on my blog after searching "semen in shower" and "kronos gyros poster." That's diversity.

Next is something I am very proud of. I show up number 3 on Google if you search "president assad urban meyer." I was the first that I know of to draw this comparison. Also interesting is that I show up number 1 if you Google "austin assapoloosa."

Lastly it is great to note that Going Over the Top shows up #2 for "Street Team Sunday. (Although we can do better). In international news Going Over the Top is #1 in Google UK for "employee 69" and number 3 in Google Italy for "pube nice." (Evidently a dyslexic pube searcher).

Midweek Food Run

2011-09-27T08:23:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Joe A. and others who covered local diners and grocery stores this week to come up with these gems:

Say it aloud

There are two accepted spellings of Omelette /Omelet, however Omlet is not one of them. In addition what better way to advertise an "Omlet" special than with a picture of two eggs sunny side up.

What is the market for Non-Alcoholic Busch? That white trash, broke, non drinker who still likes the "taste" of Busch?

Street Team Somalia 9/25/11

2011-09-23T15:12:00.004-05:00

The Going Over the Top Board of Directors sent me to Somalia on assignment for this week's Street Team Sunday. Here are some shots:

African "barb wire:"

Somali dumbells:

Look alive team...

OSHA approved scaffolding:

Coffee served with what else....popcorn?

AK47s for everyone...

Midweek fun

2011-09-21T13:24:00.000-05:00

This seems like you can't afford not to buy it:

Yoga mat for sale. Used once. - $1 (Bellevue)

Date: 2011-09-13, 10:32PM PDT
Reply to: sale-cbz7z-2597736393@craigslist.org ^[^{Errors when replying to ads?}^]

Yoga mat for sale. Used once at lunch hour class in December 2009. Usage timeline as follows:

11:45a
Register for hot yoga class. Infinite wisdom tells me to commit to 5 class package and purchase a yoga mat. I pay $89.74. Money well spent, I smugly confirm to myself.

11:55a
Open door to yoga room. A gush of hot dry air rushes through and past me. It smells of breath, sweat and hot. Take spot on floor in back of room next to cute blonde. We will date.

11:57a
I feel the need to be as near to naked as possible. This is a problem because of the hot blonde to my left and our pending courtship. She will not be pleased to learn that I need to lose 30 pounds before I propose to her.

11:58a
The shirt and sweats have to come off. I throw caution to the wind and decide to rely on my wit and conditioning to overcome any weight issues my fiancée may take issue with. This will take a lot of wit and conditioning.

11:59a
Begin small talk with my bride to be. She pretends to ignore me but I know how she can be. I allow her to concentrate and stare straight ahead and continue to pretend that I don't exist. As we finish sharing our special moment, I am suddenly aware of a sweat moustache that has formed below my nose. This must be from the all the whispering between us.

12:00p
Instructor enters the room and ascends her special podium at the front of the room. She is a slight, agitated Chinese woman. She introduces me to the class and everyone turns around to greet me just as I decide to aggressively adjust my penis and testes packed in my Under Armor. My bride is notably unfazed.

12:02p
Since I do have experience with Hot Yoga (4 sessions just 5 short years ago) I fully consider that I may be so outstanding and skilled that my instructor may call me out and ask me to guide the class. My wife will look on with a sparkle in her eye. We will make love after class.

12:10p
It is now up to 95 degrees in the room. We have been practicing deep breathing exercises for the last 8 minutes. This would not be a problem if we were all breathing actual, you know, oxygen. Instead, we are breathing each other's body odor, expelled carbon dioxide and other unmentionables. (Don't worry, I'll mention them later.)

12:26p
It is now 100 degrees and I take notice of the humidity, which is hovering at about 90%. I feel the familiar adorning stare of my bride and decide to look back at her. She appears to be nauseated. I then realize that I forgot to brush my teeth prior to attending this class. We bond.

12:33p
It is now 110 degrees and 95% humidity. I am now balancing on one leg with the other leg crossed over the other. My arms are intertwined and I am squatting. The last time I was in this position was 44 years ago in the womb, but I'm in this for the long haul. My wife looks slightly weathered dripping sweat and her eyeliner is streaming down her face. Well, "for better or worse" is what we committed to so we press on.

12:40p
The overweight Hispanic man two spots over has sweat running down his legs. At least I think its sweat. He is holding every position and has not had a sip of water since we walked in. He is making me look bad and I hate him.

12:44p
I consider that if anyone in this room farted that we would all certainly perish.

12:52p
It is now 140 degrees and 100% humidity. I am covered from head to toe in sweat. There is not a square millimeter on my body that is not slippery and sweaty. I am so slimy that I feel like a sea lion or a maybe sea eel. Not even a bear trap could hold me. The sweat is stinging my eyeballs and I can no longer see.

12:55p
This room stinks of asparagus, cloves, tuna and tacos. There is no food in the room. I realize that this is an amalgamation of the body odors of 30 people in a 140 degree room for the last 55 minutes. Seriously, enough with the asparagus, ok?

1:01p
140 degrees and 130% humidity. Look, bitch, I need my space here so don't get all pissy with me if I accidentally sprayed you with sweat as I flipped over. Seriously, is that where this relationship is going? Get over yourself. We need counseling and she needs to be medicated. Stat!

1:09p
150 degrees and cloudy. And hot. I can no longer move my limbs on my own. I have given up on attempting any of the commands this Chinese chick is yelling out at us. I will lay sedentary until the aid unit arrives. I will buy this building and then have it destroyed.
I lose consciousness.

1:15p
I have a headache and my wife is being a selfish bitch. I can't really breathe. All I can think about is holding a cup worth of hot sand in my mouth. I cannot remember what an ice cube is and cannot remember what snow looks like. I consider that my only escape might be a crab walk across 15 bodies and then out of the room. I am paralyzed, and may never walk again so the whole crab walk thing is pretty much out.

1:17p
I cannot move at all and cannot reach my water. Is breathing voluntary or involuntary? If it's voluntary, I am screwed. I stopped participating in the class 20 minutes ago. Hey, lady! I paid for this frickin class, ok?! You work for me! Stop yelling at everyone and just tell us a story or something. It's like juice and cracker time, ok?

1:20p
It is now 165 degrees and moisture is dripping from the ceiling. The towel that I am laying on is no longer providing any wicking or drying properties. It is actually placing additional sweat on me as I touch it. My towel reeks. I cannot identify the smell but no way can it be from me. Did someone spray some stank on my towel or something?

1:30p
Torture session is over. I wish hateful things upon the instructor. She graciously allows us to stay and 'cool down' in the room. It is 175 degrees. Who cools down in 175 degrees? A Komodo Dragon? My wife has left the room. Probably to throw up.

1:34p
My opportunity to escape has arrived. I roll over to my stomach and press up to my knees. It is warmer as I rise up from ground level - probably by 15 degrees. So let's conservatively say it's 190. I muster my final energy and slowly rise. One foot in front of the other. One foot in front of the other. Towards the door. Towards the door.

1:37p
The temperature in the lobby is 72 degrees. Both nipples stiffen to diamond strength and my penis begins to retract into my abdomen from the 100 degree temp swing. I can once again breathe though so I am pleased. I spot my future ex wife in the lobby. We had such a good thing going but I know that no measure of counseling will be able to unravel the day's turmoil and mental scaring.

1:47p
Arrive at Emerald City Smoothie and proceed to order a 32 oz beverage. 402 calories, 0 fat and 14 grams of protein -- effectively negating any caloric burn or benefit from the last 90 minutes. I finish it in 3 minutes and spend the next 2 hours writing this memoir.

3:47p
Create Craigslist ad while burning final 2 grams of protein from Smoothie and before the "shakes" consume my body.

4:29p
Note to self - check car for missing wet yoga towel in am.

Location: Bellevue
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Also check out this article on our good buddies, the scrappers (Thank you espn.com for hard hitting journalism):

Hall suffers $100K in damage

Comments 63

Associated Press

SOUTH BEND, Ind. -- Police are blaming the theft of a water sprinkler fitting for an estimated $100,000 in flooding damage to the basement of the College Football Hall of Fame in South Bend, Ind.

Police say about two inches of water covered the basement floor when workers arrived Monday. Cleanup work is continuing from damage to drywall, carpet and insulation.

Hall director Lisa Klunder told the South Bend Tribune the flooding caused minor damage to some items in its collection.

Police Capt. Phil Trent says the stolen brass fitting would yield about $5 if sold at a scrap-metal yard.

The hall's main floor remained open to the public, despite the damage. The building also had flooding on its main floor in June when someone smashed an outdoor water pipe.

Nice spam effort

2011-09-18T23:30:00.001-05:00

Really? Roastedchickenbreast@yahoo.com?

Street Team Sunday 9/18/11

2011-09-17T10:45:00.000-05:00

Thanks to little man Reid for sending me this Dos Equis tagger in Austin, TX. Reid captured this shot on the back of a moving van. Stay thirsty my friends....

looks like the Stanley Cup

Thanks to me for this ominous "no weapons" sign. This was not taken at a county courthouse, nor a housing project. It was taken at an AMC movie theater in suburban Niles, IL. How many people bring a gun to the movies in the suburbs? More importantly how many people carry a gun to the movies, but return it to their car once they see the "no weapons" sign???

"I was gonna carry my piece to see Smurfs, but then I saw the no weapons sign. I had to run it back to my car...almost missed the damn previews."

Tara B, silent assassin from Street Team 6, sends us this shot. Simply titled: "Why you gonna call?"

odds this guy has a Myspace account?

...high

Rookie, Ryan V, sends us this gas station or brothel from Kremmling, CO.

Street Team Sunday 9/11/11

2011-09-11T12:15:00.000-05:00

Since it is 9/11 and the year we allegedly killed Bin Laden, let's watch the most awesome/Amerikan video ever:

Henny (not Youngman) found one of the Going Over the Top Holy Grails: an OTT hat. This was shot at a Puerto Rican restaurant in Chicago: Papas Cache Sabroso.

A long time reader, but first time contributor, Pat S sends in a pic of Sgt. Slaughter getting his chow on at a Wendy's in Clemmons, NC.

Street Team MVP, Henny, sends us this job posting:

One word now?

...and this restaurant sign:

Assapalooza

2011-09-06T11:53:00.001-05:00

A new/unknown contributor to the Going Over the Top blog sends us some shots from a Mexican street fest over the weekend. Jeffrey "English" Ale, a health nut and budding photog, captured the best of Chicago's backside:

Yes he did...

2 pounds of Chorizo in a 1 pound bag

Oh damn

Pat

Side notes:

1) These types of submissions are highly encouraged

2) This is the first legit anonymous submission. No idea who the guy who emailed these is.

Street Team Sunday Labor Day

2011-09-04T22:05:00.000-05:00

Little man Reid starts us off with this Craig's List gem in Austin, TX. A couple of interesting notes:

1) How great that the city is "Buda?"
2) Glad he cleaned up the room before taking pictures.
3) The "Brown Dirt Cowboy?" Too many one liners coming to me at once.

Elton John Pinball Machine - $150 (Buda)

Date: 2011-08-28, 8:56PM CDT
Reply to: sale-aeuuj-2570941915@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

Elton John , Brown Dirt Cowboy Pinball Machine . It is in decent shape . Made by Bally . This is a home edition . It turns on and lights up but wont start

Henny hit the road this week and sends us yet another passive aggressive hand made sign from a diner in Freemont, CA:

Why would anyone flush a lady?

Multiple readers actually sent me this must have for the upcoming winter. Yes it is a Contra Sweater. Makes me want to replace all those "ugly X-mas sweater" parties with a Contra Sweater party. I found out you can play Contra here for free. Enjoy not working this week. I bet 9 out of 10 male readers of this blog remember the cheat code to get extra lives: up, up, down down.....

Craftsmanship

I will finish with 3 "quick hitters:"

1) Henny sends us something he titles "?? I have no idea"

2) Joe A. checks in with this "tight onsey:"

3) New contributor Jake sends in this sign for the obvious from a Walmart in New Jersey. I can only justify Jake being at a Walmart in New Jersey by assuming he was there buying ammo.

MidWeek Fun

2011-09-02T19:36:00.000-05:00

Headquarters is overloaded with submissions for Street Team Sunday this Labor Day weekend. Thus I will give you a little appateaser 29 hours early.

First Officer Dan sends us this shot entitled "laundry day."

Bath time is next

Next Joe A. sends us an action shot. Please zoom in, yes that guy is pissing in the cup.

Don't shake it more than twice

Sh*t my Reid texts again

2011-08-29T16:23:00.000-05:00

Welcome to another version of Sh*t my Reid texts. Please read previous posts for other Reid texts. Below is an actual textual conversation me and my little impish friend had. The beginning of this came unprompted...as it always does:

Reid: "You got get away b4 the jack gets jacked Vanilla."

Me: "I had a dream I stole your identity. Joke was on me."

Reid: "Yeah good luck with that, see if you can beat 37 years of shit luck."

Me: "You know the phrase 'you don't throw the baby out with the bathwater?'"

Reid: "My dad always told me not to flush the drankin water with the turd."

Me: "What if you have a bathtub abortion?"

Reid: "Gravy"

Me: "Was Swayze more badass in Point Break or Roadhouse."

Reid: "More zen in point with name Bodie."

Me: "Remember when Johnny Utah tackled him into the water? I want to do that to you."

Reid: "U have misdirected anger, go spray ND."

Reid: " 'Why don't you suck a snookie out of my ass?' - red neck to bartender who claimed he was over intoxicated"

Reid: "Bill Pullman laughed, nary a response from you."

Me: "Ur getting a whole blog to this stream."

Reid: "Fuck You and your lame ass blog"

Reid: "Ryan Phillipe's blog gets more hits and he sucks balls (figuratively)

**Don't worry if you do not understand half of this, neither do I**

Street Team Sunday 8/28/11

2011-08-28T09:50:00.000-05:00

Good week this week for the Going Over the Top Street Team. We will start things off with a contribution from a new Street Teamer: Dan. He notes "Tigger has found work:"

Tigger is flexible

Next we have a blurry, yet excellent photo provided by me. This was snapped at the payment window of the Solid Waste Agency of Northern Cook County. If you are asking why I was there, you obviously have not been reading the blog. In the event the picture is too blurry for my elderly readers to make out, the sign says:

Ladies and Gentlemen: Please!!! To protect the health of all we must ask you not to conduct your credit card transactions with bloody hands.

The clerk at this dump was quite confused why I was taking a picture of his window. I explained I was quite confused/amused by his sign. He then explained that it is a daily occurrence to have someone come pay with bloody hands.

Does hand sanitizer remove blood?

Along the theme of hand typed signs, we have this one from a bar owner:

Next, Henny (who is quickly rocketing up the ranks of Going Over the Top Street Teamers) submits three great shots.

First comes this tshirt seen at a Chicago street fest. (Going Over the Top Street Teamer going to a street fest for material. Don't reinvent the wheel guys. Its right in front of you.)

How often do you see a a shout out to earlier 1900s financier Bernard Baruch? Not often enough. A tshirt celebrating the "park bench statesmen."

Next comes this license plate. I am shocked it has a frat license plate holder. Just shocked.

Mr. Douche

Raiders Workshop

2011-08-27T18:24:00.000-05:00

A loyal reader of Going Over the Top was crafty enough to sneak into the workshop of a Raider fan. In light of the shootings and fights at a Raider's preseason game I am not surprised that his workbench has this sign:

Rat Bastard

2011-08-26T11:56:00.000-05:00

4,128 days since graduating from the University of Notre Dame. Today I accidentally knelt on a dead rat:

not a mouse, definitely a rat

Not grabbing that with bare hands

Where would one accidentally kneel on a rat? Why in a window well of course....

Why was I in a window well? To caulk some joints for some happy suburban soccer dad....

Insert own cock/caulk joke

Street Team Sunday 8/21/11

2011-08-21T09:41:00.000-05:00

Matt C. kicks us off with some great intel from the Windy City. Evidently Wesley Snipes is in town filming White Men Can't Jump 2. He caught Snipes jogging to the set in character outfit.

Matt C. follows that up with this city of Chicago picture. He notes it was the work of some disgruntled city employee who is only on his 35th hour of work and not yet getting time and a half...

I love clean graffiti

Henny sends us this breaking news on Sarah Palin:

Thanks to me for discovering what I thought was a joke, but turns out to be a real beer. "He-brew." How did I grow up in Skokie and not know about this until 2011?

Fun with ebay

2011-08-18T09:22:00.000-05:00

Actual ebay exchange, I am the potential buyer, aka "xxxx."

Buyer has responded to your question about this item

Do not respond to the sender if this message requests that you complete the transaction outside of eBay. This type of offer is against eBay policy, may be fraudulent, and is not covered by buyer protection programs. Learn More.

-------- Original Message --------
Subject: Details about item: xxxx sent a message about Laptop AC
Battery Power Charger+Cord for Dell XPS M1330 #140466223627
From: "eBay Member: xxxx" < >
Date: Tue, August 16, 2011 10:12 am
To:

Dear valuebuybattery,

Does this include the power cord that plugs into an outlet? I am not sure if "AC power cord" indicates this. Thank you.

- xxxx

From: valuebuybattery
To: xxxx
Subject: RE: Details about item: xxxx sent a message about Laptop AC Battery Power Charger+Cord for Dell XPS M1330 #140466223627
Sent Date: Aug-17-11 01:14:26 PDT

Dear xxxx,

Thank you for your inquiry. yes, you are right. Would you like to buy? let me know,

Regards,

-------- Original Message --------
Subject: Re: Details about item: xxxx sent a message about Laptop AC
Battery Power Charger+Cord for Dell XPS M1330 #140466223627
From: "eBay Member: xxxx" < >
Date: Wed, August 17, 2011 6:59 am
To:

Dear valuebuybattery,

I asked you a question and your reply was "yes you are right." Let's try gain. Does this auction include the part of the power cord that plugs into a wall outlet? (It is not pictured).

- xxxx

From: valuebuybattery
To: xxxx
Subject: RE: Details about item: xxxx sent a message about Laptop AC Battery Power Charger+Cord for Dell XPS M1330 #140466223627
Sent Date: Aug-17-11 18:15:38

Dear xxxxx,

Yes, This include the power cord that plugs into an outlet. Would you like to try?

Regards,

Dear valuebuybattery,

What do you mean "try?" Can I "try" it for free?

- xxxx

Street Team Sunday 8/14/11

2011-08-14T11:07:00.000-05:00

Let's get started with a "I love my dildo" sticker on a van in California. Of course it is on a van.

Matt C. checks in with this picture of a guy forfeiting his man card.

Honey does this corset go on the outside or inside?

Henny (not Youngman) checks in this week with two submissions. First we have a shot of Illinois license plate 0. Any vanity plate in Illinois is connected to some sort of corruption. I was able to dig around and discover this plate has ties to jailed former Illinois governor George Ryan. Check out the back story here.

Second, Henny sends in this shot which he titles: "S&P anaylst mask." You can purchase your own at Mercado Libre.

I'll downgrade your ass!

After the debut of last week's Street Team music video, some readers asked me how does Joe A. do it? Many members of Street Team 6 use supplemental nutrition items to fuel their work. Joe prefers the Jack Lalanne juicer. These are actual shots of Joe's personal juicer.

His kitchen looks like a damn infommercial

Urban Meyer is running Syria

2011-08-12T08:06:00.000-05:00

I am not sure why so many people gave Urban Meyer grief when he stepped down as University of Florida's football coach. While also working as a TV analyst, he has been running Syria (or running it into the ground). Have any of my readers seen Urban Meyer and Bashar al-Assad in the same place at the same time? I haven't.

Reminds me of evil knightrider....

Street Team Sunday 8/7/11

2011-08-07T07:10:00.002-05:00

All I can say to Street Team 6 member and resident Palestinian contributor Joe A, is WOW. Joe took the initiative to produce a Street Team music video. This is above and beyond the call of duty, but then again that is why Street Team 6 is so elite. You will not be disappointed in Going Over the Top's Street Team Sunday video when you click play:

Henny (not Youngman) sends in a picture of Coors Light man. This is the type of guy that the I would like to hang out with. I am willing to overlook the fact that Henny took this photo at the Bristol Renaissance Fair.

Henny says: "Why America is Losing."

Below is an example of hard hitting journalism from the New York Times. It is basically an article that says if a business has debt greater than revenues, they will not succeed. The best quote of the article is: DON’T MISTAKE DEBT FOR PROFIT. I attached the picture from the print edition, with the actual caption.

Bart Justice, who founded Secure Destruction Service in Alabama, fell into debt because revenues did not cover expenses.

Lastly, I don't know what to say about this picture from Diesel's website:

Movies for Guys Who Like Movies

2011-08-02T19:27:00.000-05:00

Going Over the Top Headquarters received numerous responses to my Blog Dedication post. (You will recall one loyal reader order "Over the Top on Netflix."

Paul R responds: "Do you know why I didn't order "Over the Top" on Netflix????"

HE DOESN'T NEED TO!!!!!

Paul's personal box set is basically the lineup for circa 1999 TBS program, Movies for Guys Who Like Movies.

Street Team Sunday 7/31/11

2011-07-31T09:42:00.000-05:00

Tara starts us off with her elephant boyfriend. She really likes him for his personality:

"Mom, he's really nice."

What better way to follow up a giant elephant dong than with a notice about too much semen in the showers:

"but the shower is the best place to do it"

Continuing on our shower theme... thanks to me for finding douche for men...finally!

Lastly Matt C sends us this Ipad stand from an airport in Thailand. Why buy a docking station when you can grow one? Evidently this "stand" also holds drinks.

Street Team Sunday Eve

2011-07-30T18:01:00.000-05:00

A little teaser for tomorrow's street team. Thanks to me and the Chicago Uptown neighborhood for providing these shots:

What is it with the pornographic gyro posters in Chicago? At least this Greek model is not blonde as we saw in a previous Street Team Sunday.

"Kronos Gyro," is that a Swedish Gyro?

These shots are what I picture the streets of a 3rd world country looking like. A few thoughts on this internet cafe:

1) Do people still use chat rooms?

2) $1.00 an hour? How is that profitable?

3) "membership?" I am thinking of joining so I can take my lady friend to the club I am a member at.

Blog Dedication

2011-07-29T12:28:00.000-05:00

This is dedication to the blog...get to know your material. At least one reader has ordered "Over the Top" to brush up.

Street Team Sunday 07/24/11

2011-07-23T21:36:00.001-05:00

This week broke the record for Street Team submissions. Sorry to those who did not make the cut. As Judge Smails said: "The world needs ditch diggers too."

Thanks to me for finding this shot of a blonde Greek gyro model/ porn star. This poster was on the front door of a diner on Elston Ave in Chicago. I do not know how anyone drives by this piece of advertisement and passes by without stopping in for a bite.

mmmmm!

Margaret, big sister to the Going Over the Top Street Team sends in this shot of a mullet on a roadie for a cover band. I kind of accept a mullet if you are a roadie for Metallica. But when you are setting up the amps at a Skokie street fair for the cover band 7th Heaven, you don't need to go all out on the hair.

Standard awkward fitting jeans and black shoes

Next, Tara, founding member of Street Team 6, sends us this shot of a rickshaw of sorts....

Matt C. (w/ a small assist from Dr. Christian) captures this guy doing some garbage can stretching. I am informed this stretching took place for 10 minutes plus. The best part is that this is not even a stretch. This is what you do when your junior high basketball coach tells you to stretch... but you don't really want to stretch. So you lean against a wall and move your calf around.

The shorts weren't short enough...roll 'em up!

Old school walkman headphones

Matt C. gets on the board with a second contribution. This one is title "Lost in Translation." This comes from a Japanese airport.

Being reinforced....or 'enforced?'

Completing the rare street team hat trick, Matt C. sends in this toilet from an airport in Japan. He notes: "no wonder Asia is passing America....it takes a PHD to drop one."

Why are there 7 extra pipes?

What the hell is a barrister?

2011-07-20T07:36:00.001-05:00

As you know from previous posts I often come into contact with business deals not available to the general public. Do not be jealous, but read below and see how I am inheriting a few million from Ghana.

The emails of my business associate, "Helen Williams," are in white. My responses are in red.

--- On Mon, 7/18/11, WILLIAMS <web.web.org@att.net> wrote:

From: WILLIAMS
Subject: HELLO MY BELOVED IN THE LORD
To:
Date: Monday, July 18, 2011, 9:08 AM
HELLO MY BELOVED IN THE LORD.

I AM MRS. HELEN WILLIAMS, FROM REPUBLIC OF IRELAND, BORN IN THE STATE OF OHIO USA. I AM LEGALLY MARRIED TO MR. JOHN WILLIAMS, A GHANAIN CITIZEN BORN BROUGHT UP IN SWITZERLAND, I LIVE IN SWITZERLAND WITH MY HUSBAND FOR 32 YEARS BEFORE WE MOVE DOWN TO GHANA WEST AFRICA IN 1985 AFTER MY HUSBAND RETIREMENT IN 1974, I AM 91 YEARS OLD BY THE GRACE OF GOD, I AM A NEW CHRISTIAN CONVERT, SUFFERING FROM LONG TIME CANCER OF THE BREAST.

ALL INDICATION FROM MY DOCTOR THAT MY CONDITIONS IS REALLY DETERIORATING AND IT IS QUITE OBVIOUS THAT I WOULDN’T LIVE MORE THAN TWO MONTHS, ACCORDING TO MY DOCTORS AND IN ALL INDICATION REGARDS TO MEDICAL ANALYSIS.THIS IS BECAUSE THE CANCER DISEASE HAS GOTTEN TO A VERY BAD STAGE THAT NO HOPE FOR ME TO BE A LIVING PERSON AGAIN. MY DEAR HUSBAND WAS INVOLVED WITH THE JANUARY 2000KENYA AIRWAYS PLANE CRASHED AS YOU CAN SEE ON THE NEWS LINE

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/6627485.stm )

57 YEARS PERIOD OF MARRIAGE LIFE, STILL WE COULD NOT PRODUCE ANY CHILD, MY LATE HUSBAND WAS VERY WEALTHY AND AFTER HIS DEATH, I INHERITED SOME PART OF HIS BUSINESS AND MONEY IN THE BANK. THE DOCTORS HAS ADVISED ME THAT I MAY NOT LIVE FOR MORE THAN TWO MONTHS AND WARN ME TO DECEASE FROM THINKING OVER WHO IS GOING TO INHERIT ME, TODAY I HAVE DECIDED TO DONATE CONTRIBUTE TO THE LESS PRIVILEGES, CHARITY AND ORPHANAGE HOMES. I MADE THIS DECISION AFTER LISTING TO THE NEWS LINE ABOUT 100 YEARS OLD WOMAN WHO SECRETLY DONATE HER FORTUNE UPON HER DEATH,

I CHOOSE YOU AFTER VIEWING YOUR PROFILE AND I HAVE CONFIDENT IN YOU BECAUSE I HAVE PRAYED. I AM WILLING TO DONATE THE SUM OF $2.5M U.S DOLLARS, TO THE LESS PRIVILEGED. PLEASE I WANT YOU TO NOTE THAT THIS FUND IS STILL IN THE BANK WHERE MY HUSBAND DEPOSITED IT. I AM GOING TO ADVICE MY LAWYER TO CHANGE MY LAST WILL TO YOUR NAME AND FILE IN AN APPLICATION FOR THE TRANSFER OF THE MONEY IN YOUR NAME. LASTLY, I HONESTLY PRAY THAT THIS MONEY WHEN TRANSFERRED WILL BE USED FOR THE SAID PURPOSE EVEN THOUGH I AM LATE THEN OR ALIVE, BECAUSE I HAVE COME TO FIND OUT THAT WEALTH ACQUISITION WITHOUT CHRIST IS VANITY ACCORDING TO THE WISEST KING IN ISRAEL KING SOLOMON, AND I MADE THE PROMISE TO GOD THAT THE FUND WILL BE USE TO HELP THE NEEDY AND THE LESS PRIVILEGE,.

MAY THE GRACE OF OUR LORD JESUS THE LOVE OF GOD AND THE FELLOWSHIP OF GOD BE WITH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY, PLEASE FURTHER DISCUSSION CONTACT ME HERE:

I AWAIT URGENT REPLY.

REMAIN BLESSED

MRS. HELEN WILLIAMS

Helen -

So good to hear from you. I have a few questions:

1) If your husband retired in 1974 why did you wait until 1985 to move?

2) I am an atheist, will you still give me your money?

3) What year were you born?

-Lincoln

Dear Lincoln Respond urgently

Tuesday, July 19, 2011 5:35 AM

From:

"Mrs Helen Williams"

Add sender to Contacts

To:

Dear Lincoln

Thank you for accepting to do my wish,I also thank you for finding time to reply to my message,however my wish is that you will use these funds accordingly and judiciously.Your religion or beliefs does not matter to me ok,what matters to me is that you use this funds judiciously and be guided by your conscience .I was born 12 May 1919,However I have discussed with my lawyer Barrister Dennis Kofi and I have confined in him that I found you very worthy of accomplishing my desire.Please I want you to understand my critical health condition that I may not be writing you always that is why I want you to go ahead with my lawyer who I have absolute confidence and trust in.

Henceforth I want you to be communicating with my lawyer and he will in return give me update ,my lawyer will be the one that will handle everything as per this transaction and please I do not want another person interfering in this transaction .Here is my lawyers email contact:(barristerdenniskofi@yahoo.com) Tel:+233 26 5089466

Contact him and let him know that I asked you to contact him and he will explain more to you,

Thank you and remain bless,

Mrs Helen Williams

Re: Dear Lincoln Respond urgently

Tuesday, July 19, 2011 11:39 AM

From:

This sender is DomainKeys verified View contact detail

s

To:

"Mrs Helen Williams"

What the hell is a barrister?

RE: Dear Lincoln Respond urgently

Tuesday, July 19, 2011 12:13 PM

From:

"Mrs Helen Williams"

Add sender to Contacts

To:

Dear Lincoln

A Barrister is a Lawyer who will represent me in this transaction due to my illness

Mrs Helen Williams

RE: Dear Lincoln Respond urgently

Tuesday, July 19, 2011 1:04 PM

From:

This sender is DomainKeys verified

View contact details

To:

"Mrs Helen Williams"

This all sounds familiar. Last time I heard the term barrister used it was in this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZcmziHO8dQ&feature=related

"To Catch an Identity Thief"

of course no response......

Street Team Sunday 07/17/11

2011-07-17T07:16:00.000-05:00

Happy mid July Street Team Sunday! Henny (as in Henny Youngman) starts us off with every white suburban girl's favorite place to dine...the Brown Sack.

*******************************************************************
Margaret - big sister to the blog sends us this mullet shot from an undisclosed midwest location:

*******************************************************************************
Paul R. would like to bring our reader's attention to another John Wayne Bobbitt incident. A southern California woman cut off her husband's frank and beans. A recap below thanks to ABC news. Quote of the article is: "There's usually not the same force of ejaculation, but plumbing for that purpose is still intact."

Catherine Kieu Becker, 48, is under arrest for chopping off her husband's penis and tossing it in the garbage disposal.

After she laced her husband's food with an unknown drug or poison, he lay down, believing something was wrong with the food, according to police reports. Her husband then woke up tied to the bed as Becker cut off his penis with a knife. She then threw the genitalia in the garbage disposal and turned the disposal on, Lt. Jeff Nightengale of Garden Grove, Calif. police, said.

Nightengale said the couple is going through a divorce, but could not confirm why Becker wanted to cut off her husband's manhood.

Becker eventually called 911, asking for medical assistance. When firefighters and police arrived on scene, Becker told officials that her husband "deserved it," said Nightengale. Police found the man, who remains unidentified, tied to the bed and "bleeding profusely." Becker was arrested on several charges, including aggravated mayhem, false imprisonment and assault with a deadly weapon.

SEE PHOTOS: Famous Celebrity Mugshots

Her husband was rushed to University of California at Irvine Medical Center for treatment.

"He is in stable condition, but we have no details about the surgery," said Nightengale.

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"Police were able to recover portions of the penis from the garbage disposal," Nightengale noted, but it is unclear how much or whether doctors will be able to reattach them.

"The immediate issue here is to control the bleeding," said Dr. Alasdair Conn, chief of emergency services atMassachusetts General Hospital, who said that the injury is quite unusual, even in the emergency room.

Upon his arrival, doctors need to tie off arteries and veins to stop the bleeding. Surgeons will attempt to maintain the remaining tissue and cover the wound so it does not get infected, Conn said.

If the penis is available to reattach, Dr. Ryan Terlecki, assistant professor surgical sciences-urology at Wake Forest University, said it should be wrapped in saline-soaked gauze, placed in a plastic bag, and the bag then should be placed in an ice bath to keep cold.

"Time is of the essence for a re-implant," said Terlecki, who has performed a handful of such procedures. "It's best to reattach it within 24 hours, preferably less than eight hours."

Doctors then reconstruct the nerve arteries and veins, while also putting the erectile tissue back together.

Urine control will not likely be affected because the muscle that causes the sensation to go to the bathroom is outside of the bladder. That muscle probably went untouched during the assault, Conn said, but a Foley catheter will likely be inserted into the bladder to drain urine, which is also "a relatively straightforward procedure."

If doctors cannot reattach the original penis, Conn said, "over the next few days, surgeons have to decide what to do to reconstruct the penis. Plastic surgeons who specialize in transgender operations may be able to construct a new penis."

Terlecki said that the penis is recreated by grafting tissue from another part of the body and then augmented with a penile prosthetic.

With the prosthetic, a man can still "urinate and have sexual relations and ejaculate. There's usually not the same force of ejaculation, but plumbing for that purpose is still intact."

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An anonymous Street Team member sent in the below company email from a colleague...one who is accepted to a respected MBA program. Even Going Over the Top's editors have spell check.

Street Team Sunday 7/10/11

2011-07-10T14:23:00.000-05:00

Happy Street Team Sunday.

Our first submission comes from Portugal... that's right. We have readers world wide. Pat, a travel aficionado who was once kicked out of a convent in Medjugorje, Bosnia, sends us the following shot from Lisbon. He notes: "poor police they are hated everywhere."

Thanks to Walgreens for this great product. Walgreens will lock up its Sudafed so you can't make meth. But in the event you get the Sudafed out of their locked glass cases, Walgreens will sell you a pill crusher to help you out. What happened to the good old days when we crushed our sudafed with spoons???

This below shot comes from Matt C, a Street Team 6 wannabe. This was shot on July 4th. What is more American than towing a Hummer with a fucking RV? I mean when they get to their final destination do they drive the Hummer around to save gas?

6 degrees of separation (a friend of a friend of a friend) from Going Over the Top sends us this shot from last year's Burning Man:

This would be great in a youth sport's locker room