Friendly Chat

"Reid Phillips" (7:55:44 AM): arna made a total bitch out of me

"Reid Phillips" (7:55:49 AM): fun fun

"Reid Phillips" (7:55:52 AM): long from 4.51

"Reid Phillips" (7:56:06 AM): leave last night it was trading 6.85 bid

"Reid Phillips" (7:56:16 AM): come in today and sell 4.11s

matthewmersch (7:56:27 AM): 4.51 was a good buy, i didn't pull it up until 5.60

"Reid Phillips" (7:56:39 AM): yeah liked the buy

"Reid Phillips" (7:56:48 AM): and who gives a shit about the rest

"Reid Phillips" (7:56:54 AM): cuz net net I lost

matthewmersch (7:57:08 AM): yep and neither me nor cronin nor tater nor chetan care

"Reid Phillips" (7:57:22 AM): yep

"Reid Phillips" (7:57:24 AM): nor do I

"Reid Phillips" (7:57:35 AM): just another straw on the camels back

matthewmersch (7:58:31 AM): in fact chetan twittered me this a.m. and specifically said he does not want to hear about arna from u

matthewmersch (7:58:35 AM): fyi

"Reid Phillips" (7:59:02 AM): you act as if I am complaining

"Reid Phillips" (7:59:05 AM): not at all

"Reid Phillips" (7:59:10 AM): find it almost humorous

matthewmersch (7:59:17 AM): not me

matthewmersch (7:59:19 AM): chetan

matthewmersch (7:59:27 AM): I have 3 new twitter feeds

matthewmersch (7:59:32 AM): shitmyreidsays

matthewmersch (7:59:35 AM): shitmychetansays

matthewmersch (7:59:44 AM): shitmymilfsays

"Reid Phillips" (7:59:56 AM): you only need one from 830 to 3

"Reid Phillips" (8:00:01 AM): shitItradebad

matthewmersch (8:00:09 AM): example of shitmychetansays: "bring me your finest goat cheese"

matthewmersch (8:01:25 AM): u know how in the movies a long lost couple run across beach to hug?

"Reid Phillips" (8:02:01 AM): what the fuk you talkin bout willis?

matthewmersch (8:02:26 AM): you know that scene right?

"Reid Phillips" (8:02:38 AM): nope

"Reid Phillips" (8:02:47 AM): don't even know what movie you are talking about

matthewmersch (8:02:57 AM): well its going to be like that when I see you face to face

matthewmersch (8:03:02 AM): except I'm going to clothesline you

"Reid Phillips" (8:03:07 AM): ha

"Reid Phillips" (8:03:15 AM): that and you cant move

matthewmersch (8:03:20 AM): going to leave my feet WWE style

"Reid Phillips" (8:03:30 AM): prolly have tendinitis in elbow and cant pick that up either

"Reid Phillips" (8:04:01 AM): breath wreaking from all the near roid supplements you packing through your liver

"Reid Phillips" (8:04:05 AM): not healthy btw

matthewmersch (8:04:17 AM): you know what is not healthy?

"Reid Phillips" (8:04:33 AM): your options and or stock trading?

matthewmersch (8:04:33 AM): u laying on the beach clutching your throat post clothesline

matthewmersch (8:04:48 AM): trying to say "Marcy" but you can get enough air

matthewmersch (8:05:57 AM): don't change

matthewmersch (8:05:58 AM): ever

"Reid Phillips" (8:06:17 AM): I will make sure to run you around the block three to four times when I see you and right when you think that you have caught me and you are at the end of you tank I am going to turn around and smack you in your snotty pussy nose and watch you crumble to ground gasping for air cuz you a big fat fuk

"Reid Phillips" (8:07:20 AM): oh yeah your pants will be rubbing together the whole time so I might be laughing from the sound while you are chasing me

matthewmersch (8:07:53 AM): I won't wear corduroys that day

"Reid Phillips" (8:07:57 AM): thank god

"Reid Phillips" (8:08:18 AM): you should not wear corduroy ever

Its BACK. Phillips 9/18 Lunch guesses

REID PHILLIPS LUNCH GUESSES

matthewmcronin (12:01:52 PM): #1 F Cronin and Mersch. Time to hunker down. Gonna hit traps hard today but can't drive a race car with no fuel, that's a fact. Goes to KTG fridge pulls out leftover turkey dogs from when Jordan was in town. But hey it's Friday, live a little. Steals relish from door that's been there since he started, smothers dog, eats over sink. Wash that pig down, sticks head under faucet and drinks up. Huge edge John has one more piece of pizza left he doesn't want, down the hatch, burn that one off just in warm up today

matthewmersch (12:03:45 PM): #1 I've had it with these guys int he office, not respecting me. I wrestled division 1. sort of. Either way I'll take them down. Just to prove it I'm going to Sonic Burger and throwing down 2 double cheeseburgers and I'll still be in better shape. Strawberry shake, fuk u I like strawberry. Large diet coke. The shakes a side not a drink dumbass

matthewmcronin (12:09:54 PM): #154 Brisket and ribs, that stuff just isn't good for you, I tell ya what Marcy I'm sick of everyone in this state goin gagga over them, fat fuks. Me and you are startin over. Borrows $40 from Marcy, goes to Whole Foods. Buys hummus and pita chips for appetizer. Articoke hearts on sale, cheap and healthy, God I got a knack for finding edge. Can't teach that, that's what people don't get. Extra virgin olive oil, eggplant, organic asparagus. Walnuts on salad give enough protein. Tosses lowfat cottage cheese and peaches in cloth shopping bag for desert. Eat better, feel better. $39.56 total, that was close. Sweet.

matthewmersch (12:13:59 PM): #154 I tell you what, I'm sort of a renaissance man, I'm going to give this TOFU a try. I picked up Marcy's Home&Garden in the shitter and you know what, it doesn't sound that bad. Trading is gay, I'm going home. Spends two hours making ground tofu burgers with soy cheese. Loves cheeseburgers. How long do you cook this shit for anyways. Out to porch to grab sun tea and all set to go.

Back to the well...

matthewmersch (12:07:35 PM): cronin was talking some major sh*t about u
matthewmersch (12:07:43 PM): he said you eat dik sandwiches
remaniam (12:12:17 PM): homo fantasies
remaniam (12:12:22 PM): weirdo
matthewmersch (12:12:24 PM): I stood up for you though
remaniam (12:12:34 PM): pffft!
matthewmersch (12:12:37 PM): I did
remaniam (12:12:44 PM): pffffffffffffft!
matthewmersch (12:12:46 PM): I said you don't even like bread
remaniam (12:12:52 PM): ha....asshole

Again? come on Sam. Pair of balls vs parables...

matthewmersch (10:08:30 AM): hey bro
remaniam (10:09:45 AM): wassup.
matthewmersch (10:10:38 AM): what quote you see for John Deere, my esginal is sticky
remaniam (10:12:18 AM): 31.55 +1.15
matthewmersch (10:12:36 AM): wait Im looking at something else then
matthewmersch (10:12:40 AM): what ticker you using?
remaniam (10:12:44 AM): DE
matthewmersch (10:12:46 AM): EZ NUTZ
matthewmersch (10:12:48 AM): !!!
remaniam (10:12:56 AM): HAAAA.......u fucker

[08:54] matthewmcronin: some junk email about the frog and the swarm of flies

[08:54] matthewmcronin: i think it was meant for his kid or something

[08:54] Sam Reman: ?

[08:54] Sam Reman: I dont see

[08:55] matthewmcronin: it's one of those parables or something i think

[08:55] matthewmcronin: think he just retracted the message

[08:55] Sam Reman: ha....funny that u got it.....i dont see it...respond to it for laughs

[08:55] matthewmcronin: it's Aesop right?

[08:56] Sam Reman: the kempf frog sitting on a lillypad eating all the flies that are getting him bonds from the swamp.

[08:56] matthewmcronin: you've seen Aesop's Parables?

[08:56] Sam Reman: of course

[08:56] matthewmcronin: were they salty?

[08:56] Sam Reman: only when he finally decided to kill the fly.

[08:57] matthewmcronin: kinda hairy situation though

[08:57] Sam Reman: i dont know why he swallowed the fly

[08:57] matthewmcronin: which of the parables was your favorite as a kid?

[08:57] Sam Reman: it wiggled and jiggled and tickled inside him.

[08:57] Sam Reman: ha

[08:57] Sam Reman: i liked grimms tales

[08:58] matthewmcronin: not as good as the parables

[08:58] Sam Reman: ya true

[08:58] matthewmcronin: the parables just seem more tangible

[08:58] Sam Reman: ever hear the parable of the wisconsin farmer that caught the plague from a mexican concubine?

[08:59] matthewmcronin: what was the moral of the story?

[08:59] Sam Reman: 19yr old concubine

[08:59] matthewmcronin: in WI there are only combines, not concubines

[08:59] Sam Reman: dick fell off and fertilized the soil....grew a lot of corn.

[08:59] matthewmcronin: do you have your own parables?

[09:00] matthewmcronin: or do you prefer Aesop's

[09:00] Sam Reman: ya...the one about my 22 inch flagpole that is the eighth wonder of the world.

[09:00] matthewmcronin: I heard you suck at Aesop's Parables

Oh Sammy 12/1/08

Sometimes life presents you with gifts. Below is a log of a chat between Matt #1 and Sammy and Matt #2 and Sammy. Can life really be this easy?

(A little background: Sam sells watches and trades and falls for simlar jokes repeatedly).

matthewmersch (1:44:53 PM): what is the best watch for the price in your opinion

remaniam (1:46:21 PM): I thot u were against such capitalist indulgences

matthewmersch (1:46:33 PM): I am

matthewmersch (1:46:49 PM): but a few years ago i was bidding on some on ebay, was thinking of looking into one again

matthewmersch (1:47:00 PM): to have for weddings and nice events

remaniam (1:47:11 PM): lot of asian fakes on ebay....careful

remaniam (1:47:26 PM): well...what u looking to spend?

matthewmersch (1:47:54 PM): not sure to be honest...don't even know what the price should be

matthewmersch (1:48:23 PM): Joe from Stafford was helping me look at them in the day. I bid on some by some designer that started with a D...can't remember

remaniam (1:49:42 PM): depends on ur tastes...chronometer? dressy? simple? Quartz? Automatic? (these r the most expensive)

remaniam (1:49:54 PM): big, small?

matthewmersch (1:50:00 PM): thats what she said

remaniam (1:50:09 PM): ha

matthewmersch (1:50:20 PM): what are the manufactures that start with d..

remaniam (1:51:13 PM): Doxa, donna karen, Roger Dubuis, (no way u can afford this one)remaniam (1:51:43 PM): what r ur tastes

matthewmersch (1:51:45 PM): how about DEEEZ NUTZZ

remaniam (1:52:00 PM): i knew it u fuck

matthewmersch (1:52:16 PM): seriosuly though...you remember Joe who was into watches

matthewmersch (1:52:36 PM): at Stafford

remaniam (1:52:42 PM): ya

matthewmersch (1:52:49 PM): JOE MAMA

[08:40] matthewmcronin: so what are the odds you think that designer watches in mexico are real?

[08:40] Sam: mersch already got me with that zinger....blow me

[08:40] matthewmcronin: ?

[08:43] Sam: asked me what swiss house started with the letter D....(deeezzz nuts)

[08:43] Sam: name a brand ur looking at....tell me

[08:45] matthewmcronin: well in this tiny store they had some Cartiers allegedly

[08:45] matthewmcronin: but the thing is there was a lot of other cheap silver jewelry

[08:45] matthewmcronin: so I figure what are the odds

[08:45] matthewmcronin: they had a Tag too, I recogize that one

[08:45] matthewmcronin: what's the other one that starts with D for real?

[08:46] matthewmcronin: some actual watch

[08:46] Sam: deeez nuts

[08:46] matthewmcronin: no Dubois?

[08:46] matthewmcronin: but i thought he was some black inventor or something

[08:46] Sam: dude.....roger dubuis makes 12 watches a year....minimum tag of $32k

[08:47] Sam: fake

[08:47] matthewmcronin: jeez

[08:47] matthewmcronin: you said you own a Bofa model right?

[08:47] Sam: cartier automatics with valjoux 7750 movements begin at 8k...if its battery.....asian fake

[08:48] Sam: bofa?

[08:48] matthewmcronin: Bofa DEEEZ NUTTZZ

matthewmersch (2:07:04 PM): can you look something up for me on bloomberg?
remaniam (2:07:17 PM): deeez nuts

matthewmersch (2:07:28 PM): ticker for Dominion Resources?

remaniam (2:08:35 PM): D

matthewmersch (2:08:44 PM): eez NUTZ

remaniam (2:08:51 PM): 35.7 down 1.14

remaniam (2:09:09 PM): u motha fucka

remaniam (2:09:16 PM): cracka

remaniam (2:09:25 PM): now u makin me swear

[08:55] Sam: BAS total deal size is 9bln....4 tranches....

[08:55] Sam: no

[08:56] Sam: 3.5 yr 6.75bln printed

[08:56] matthewmcronin: yeah

[08:56] Sam: M/S+83

[08:56] matthewmcronin: wonder what books were

[08:56] Sam: BAS guy sux...didn't tell me

[08:56] matthewmcronin: mine is ok

[08:57] matthewmcronin: Joe, u used to have him i think

[08:57] Sam: joe mama......u lame and non original

[08:57] Sam: sucka

[08:57] matthewmcronin: no, mine actually is named Joe

[08:58] Sam: mama

[08:58] matthewmcronin: your blaylock guy is Pero right?

[08:58] Sam: no....gotta hear this

[08:58] Sam: go ahead

[08:58] matthewmcronin: ?

[08:59] Sam: whats the zinger....

[08:59] Sam: pero what...?

[08:59] matthewmcronin: Pero DEEEZ NUTZZZ

11/25/08 Will the real slim shady...

Has anyone seen any 2 of the following 4 in the same place at once?

Video (3rd video down)

Father Guido Sarducci, SNL

Evil Knightrider

Pat Arnold, Super fan, on the left.

Robert Goulet, as potrayed by Will Ferrell

11/17 Phillips Family vacation guesses

Eventually Phillips will have to take some cash out from under the mattress and bring the family on a trip. We all picture Reid as calm and cool while organizing a family getaway for him, Marcy, and Omen. Here are our best and worst guesses for how this vacation shapes up.

MattM:

1) Duel cross country car trip to Big Ten conference wrestling championships and deer camp in UP. 5 days before trip take Taurus to welder to affix a tow bar. Ain't puttin' any miles on the Acura. That's for Sunday driving. Purchase pop up tow camper from same guy who picked him off on Taurus. $800 for camper. Sh*t Pat I tell you what that ain't even a month's rent up in Chicago. Just got me a new house on wheels. Pack the camper up on Thursday night, departure set for 0-five hundred Friday a.m. Done packing early...a few beers with Pat and Craig won't hurt. Guido dance off ensues (see older posts). Get home at 2:30am. Omen crying, Marcy fuming. Departure changed to Fourteen hundred Friday. Pick up del taco on way to interstate. Let Omen try hot sauce...doesn't liek it...won't stop crying.

Dip + red bull + angry grip on wheel fuels stragith thru drive to Green Bay. No hotel necessary Marcy, we staying at Tater's. Arrive at 2 am Sunday a.m. just as Tater stumbles in. Tater and Kelly get into huge fight. Aunt Karen calls and gets an earful from Tater. Omen starts crying and Marcy lays into Phillips. Osbourne-esque environment. Set up pop up camper in front yard.

Oversleep, wake up Tater and head to wrestling championships. Spend whoel day eating pop corn and telling anyone within earshot about how good you two were back in Gladstone. Most common response is "what the hell is Gladstone?" Stop off for 1 beer on way home. yada yada Marcy yelling at him at 2 am. Sleep in pop up camper, Omen and Marcy sleep in basement.

Monday Leave Kelly, Omen, Marcy, and Tater jr to head up to deer camp. Details of the week are fuzzy but stats tell the story: beers drank: 115. Deer slayed: 0 (although he thinks he nipped a 37 point buck but couldn't track it down. It was this big I swear...), # of Uncle Garyisms: 116, # of Uncle Garysisms that were new since last deer season: 2.

Drive back to Greenbay to pick up the family. Sell Taurus + pop up camper for scrap, pick up 3 plane tickets for $4500 last minute. "I ain't sittin in car with those 2 again. Why the hell can't Omen sit on my lap?" Arrive in Austing the following Sunday night well rested for the rest of the trading year.

127) Spend 2 months interviewing temp Au Pairs. Find a great one with a Masters in Child Pyschology and 15 local references to watch Omen while he whisks Marcy away.

Keeps trip a surprise and packs for Marcy. Tells her to dress comfortably. Lays out new juicy couture sweat suit for her. Limo comes at noon. Lunch inside. Austin airport directly to Grand Cayman. Printed and boudn itnerary is waiting in room.

Phillips has planned out a ride on a catamaran with snorkeling among sting rays. Horse back riding on beach. Sunset dinner at a different patio restaurant each night. Parasailing (Cubs hat on). His and her spa day. On the second to last day Phillips rents an assitant chef and a grill/hot plate to cook dinner on balcony of suite.

They enjoy the trip so mucht hey spend the last day viewing properties and end up putting in 2 bids. Can't wait to get home and see if they got it.